You dragged me all the way out here to watch a guy in a leopard-skin bikini. If I wanted to see that, I would have stayed in Miami.

More from George of the Jungle

• "All of George's secrets." There's the shortest book ever written.
• To swing or not to swing? Swing.
• Sorry, Stonebelly. The better man won, that's all. Or, I should say, the one who brought mercenaries won; that's all!
• And so, onward and upward the tired trekkers trudged on feverished footsies on the perilous paths. When they beheld the mighty Ape Mountain, the reacted with awe.
• Don't worry. Nobody dies in this story. They just get really big boo-boos.
• Meanwhile, at a very expensive waterfall set...