If I wasn’t happily married and you weren’t my wife’s stepsister I’d have an affair with you in a second!

More from The Object of My Affection

• I enjoy gay people, but I just have a slight problem with my pregnant sister being in love with one of them.
• Don’t open the door for any gas men. Unless you think either one of us would be interested!
• I like guys a lot, but I'm not going to waste my time with some guy that doesn't see things the way I do... I mean do you really need this guy?
• I want you to be with me, I want you to marry me, I want you to love me the way that I love you.
• You have to pick one person and make it work.
• Don’t fix your life so that you’re left alone right as you come to the middle of it.