Wilson Mizner

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.

Wilson Mizner

Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.

Wilson Mizner

Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.

Wilson Mizner

Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

Wilson Mizner

I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.

Wilson Mizner

If you copy from one author, it’s plagiarism. If you copy from two, it’s research.

Wilson Mizner

I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.

Wilson Mizner

It’s getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.

Wilson Mizner

I’ve known countless people who were reservoirs of learning, yet never had a thought.

Wilson Mizner

Life’s a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.

Wilson Mizner

The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.

Wilson Mizner

The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong.

Wilson Mizner

To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.

Wilson Mizner