Can we actually “know” the universe? My God, it’s hard enough finding your way around in Chinatown.
Woody Allen
- Born
- 1935
- Occupations
- film director, comedian, film actor
- Notable works
- Take the Money and Run, Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex*, Sleeper
Facts: Wikidata (CC0), as of 2026-07-09
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen
If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
Woody Allen
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Woody Allen
In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
Woody Allen
It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen
Sex without love is an empty gesture. But as empty gestures go, it is one of the best.
Woody Allen
Some guy hit my car fender the other day, and I said unto him, “Be fruitful and multiply.” But not in those words.
Woody Allen
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
Woody Allen
The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don’t think that he’s evil. I think that the worst you can say about him is that basically he’s an underachiever.
Woody Allen
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
Woody Allen