What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

More from Woody Allen

• Can we actually “know” the universe? My God, it’s hard enough finding your way around in Chinatown.
• I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
• If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
• I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
• In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
• It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.