Mornin'! Shitter's full!
Cousin Eddie
Christmas
Sons a bitches! Bumpass'!!
Dad
Don't throw me down, Clark.
Aunt Bethany
Merry Christmas! Shitter was full.
Cousin Eddie
Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?
Clark
I want peace on earth and good will toward man.
Whistler
Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings.
Zuzu Bailey
After all, there's only one more sleep 'til Christmas.
Kermit the Frog
Do we have to keep talking about religion? It’s Christmas!
Danielle
Don't forget, when you stir the Christmas pudding, make a wish.
Eric
Greeting all! Remember, only fifteen more shoplifting days til Christmas!
Jerome Nash
In Who-ville they say That the Grinch’s small heart Grew three sizes that day!
Dr. Seuss
You know, every Christmas, I feel like a little child. But we always get turkey.
Terry
Here's a word for all of those who've been lucky enough to get away for Christmas.
Eric
From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.
Katharine Whitehorn
I have never heard of such a Christmas: sex, and drugs, and, and, and, and women being set on fire.
Connie
It's confusing. I've had so many wives and so many children I don't know which house to go to first on Christmas.
Mickey Rooney
If every day were Christmas day By some fantastic trick If every day were Christmas day We’d all be bloomin’ SICK.
Eric
It was the afternoon of Christmas Eve and Scrooge was conscious of a thousand odors, each one connected with a thousand thoughts and hopes and joys and cares long, long forgotten.
Gonzo
He puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more!
Narrator
And what happened, then? Well, in Whoville they say – that the Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day. And then – the true meaning of Christmas came through, and the Grinch found the strength of*ten Grinches, plus two!
Narrator