Sweetie, we dragged these people screaming into the 20th Century. We gave them all the mod-cons, darling. We gave them the non-squat toilet... toilet , darling. I mean, how do you think they used to wipe their bottoms before we came along?

More from Absolutely Fabulous

• I shall endeavor to transcribe it on my pad, photocopy it and file it for future reference.
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• Surgery, sweetie. Lipo, on the hands and stomach, bum lift, tit lift, lose a rib and see what happens with my lips!