
I am civilized to my platform toes.
Eddie

I am civilized to my platform toes.
Eddie

Inside of me there is a thin person screaming to get out.
Eddie
I suppose I could just go through the motions, wouldn't you like that Justin? It would be-
Eddie

I used to make hospital corners. Now I don't even wash my sheets.
Eddie

So, what about World War two? What about Nazi Facism? There were a lot of Satan's followers walking the earth then, and the world didn't end.
Eddie

Surgery, sweetie. Lipo, on the hands and stomach, bum lift, tit lift, lose a rib and see what happens with my lips!
Eddie
Sweetie, we dragged these people screaming into the 20th Century. We gave them all the mod-cons, darling. We gave them the non-squat toilet... toilet , darling. I mean, how do you think they used to wipe their bottoms before we came along?
Eddie

The 70's are back!
Eddie

The more I love myself, the more I will be loved.
Eddie

Why, oh why do we pay taxes, huh? Just so we can have bloody parking restrictions, and bloody ugly traffic wardens, and bollocky pedestrian bloody crossings! Why not just have a “Stupidity Tax?” Just tax the stupid people!
Eddie