I don’t know why I should even bother to eat this. I should just apply it directly to my hips.

More from Mary Tyler Moore

• I’m an experienced woman. I’ve been around. Well, all right, I might not’ve been around, but I’ve been…nearby.
• It’s a magnifying mirror! Mary, why didn’t you warn me? I thought it was a relief map of the moon. When they sell those magnifying mirrors they should include a printed suicide note.
• I was lying in bed last night and I couldn’t sleep, and I came up with an idea. So I went right home and wrote it down.