I’m organised, I’m dedicated to my career, I’ve always got a pen. Result? Total smeghead despised by everyone except the ship’s parrot. And that’s only because we haven’t got one.

Rimmer lists his good qualities, being organised, dedicated and always carrying a pen, then delivers the punchline that everyone despises him anyway. Even the ship's parrot only tolerates him because there isn't one. It's self-pity as comedy, with the joke's sting aimed at himself.

Context reviewed 20 September 2026