Captain Blackadder Quotes — Blackadder

It is a telegram, it is ordering an advance, but it seems to be addressed to someone called Cat-pain Black-udder.

Captain Blackadder

Inked illustration of First World War trenches at dawn: an officer in a greatcoat and cap stands on the firestep by a ladder, soldiers crouched along the muddy trench under barbed wire. — Original artwork

As cunning as a fox who's just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University.

Captain Blackadder

Your brain, for example. It's so minute, Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough to cover a small water biscuit.

Captain Blackadder

Blackadder reads a dispatch with weary contempt while George and Baldrick wait around a rough table in their trench dugout. — Original artwork

Clearly, Field Marshal Haig is about to make yet another gargantuan effort to move his drinks cabinet six inches closer to Berlin.

Captain Blackadder

Melchett offers expansive reassurance in the trench while Darling stands behind him and Blackadder gives a sceptical sidelong look. — Original artwork

Ha ha ha, don't worry my boy, if you should falter, remember that Captain Darling and I are behind you. About thirty-five miles behind you.

Captain Blackadder

Four soldiers gather shoulder to shoulder at a trench ladder as Blackadder holds his whistle for the final advance. — Original artwork

Good luck, everyone.

Captain Blackadder

Blackadder despairs beside George in his concert-party gown as Baldrick watches from the doorway of their sandbagged dugout. — Original artwork

We're in the stickiest situation since Sticky the Stick Insect got stuck on a sticky bun.

Captain Blackadder

A fully uniformed Blackadder sits with underpants on his head and pencils at his nose, while a concerned George watches his attempt to appear mad. — Original artwork

Wibble.

Captain Blackadder

Blackadder indicates a tiny distance on an unlabelled map as George and Baldrick listen in the dugout before another attack. — Original artwork

We've been sitting here since Christmas, 1914, during which millions of men have died, and we've advanced no further than an asthmatic ant with some heavy shopping.

Captain Blackadder