John Bender

Claire is a fat chick’s name.

John Bender

Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers?

John Bender

Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?

John Bender

How come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up, we'll all get up, IT'LL BE ANARCHY!

John Bender

I wanna be just like you. I figure all I need is a lobotomy and some tights.

John Bender

Remember how you said your parents use you to get back at each other? Wouldn't I be outstanding in that capacity?

John Bender

Show Dick some respect.

John Bender

Screws fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place.

John Bender

So it’s sorta social, demented and sad, but social. Right?

John Bender