Don’t threaten me with jail, Blanche, because it’s not a threat. With my expenses and my alimony, a prisoner takes home more pay than I do.

More from The Odd Couple

• I’m a neurotic nut, but you’re crazy!
• In other words, you're saying you want me to leave?
• A suicide telegram? Who sends a suicide telegram?
• A whole bottle of pills! My God, get an ambulance!
• For God's sake, do something. Say something.
• I hate little notes on my pillow. Like this morning. 'We're all out of cornflakes. F.U.' It took me three hours to figure out that 'F.U.' was Felix Unger. It's not your fault, Felix. It's a rotten combination.