I’m a neurotic nut, but you’re crazy!
Felix Ungar
- Director
- Gene Saks
- Cast
- Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau, John Fiedler, Herb Edelman, Monica Evans, Carole Shelley
- Year
- 1968
- Runtime
- 101 min
- Genres
- comedy film, buddy film
- Country
- United States
Facts: Wikidata (CC0), as of 2026-07-09
In other words, you're saying you want me to leave?
Felix Ungar
A suicide telegram? Who sends a suicide telegram?
Murray
A whole bottle of pills! My God, get an ambulance!
Murray
For God's sake, do something. Say something.
Murray
I hate little notes on my pillow. Like this morning. 'We're all out of cornflakes. F.U.' It took me three hours to figure out that 'F.U.' was Felix Unger. It's not your fault, Felix. It's a rotten combination.
Oscar
Don’t point that finger at me unless you intend to use it.
Oscar Madison
Don’t threaten me with jail, Blanche, because it’s not a threat. With my expenses and my alimony, a prisoner takes home more pay than I do.
Oscar Madison
I'm in for a quarter.
Oscar Madison
Life goes on, even for those of us who are divorced, broke, and sloppy.
Oscar Madison
Look at this. You're the only man in the world with clenched hair.
Oscar Madison
Murray, lend me twenty dollars or I'll call your wife and tell her you're in Central Park wearing a dress.
Oscar Madison
You want... uh... brown sandwiches... or green sandwiches?
Oscar Madison
His fridge had been out of order for two weeks now. I saw milk standing in there that wasn't in the bottle!
Roy