Don’t point that finger at me unless you intend to use it.
Oscar Madison
Don’t threaten me with jail, Blanche, because it’s not a threat. With my expenses and my alimony, a prisoner takes home more pay than I do.
Oscar Madison
I'm in for a quarter.
Oscar Madison
Life goes on, even for those of us who are divorced, broke, and sloppy.
Oscar Madison
Look at this. You're the only man in the world with clenched hair.
Oscar Madison
Murray, lend me twenty dollars or I'll call your wife and tell her you're in Central Park wearing a dress.
Oscar Madison
You want... uh... brown sandwiches... or green sandwiches?
Oscar Madison