My teacher asked me what was the capital of North Carolina. I said Washington D.C. She said No. You’re wrong. And I said well you got a lumpy butt. Then I peed in my pants.

More from Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

• I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger.
• Hakuna Matata, bitches!
• My husband Gregory and I want what any couple wants. To retire to Stockholm and develop a currency for dogs and cats to use.
• Will you be my... Katie Couric?
• Girard is sitting on the pole, which is a statement of fact and in no way a comment on his sexual orientation.
• Ricky Bobby appears to be unhurt, but that Wonder Bread car is toast.