I thought moms were supposed to be nice, and sweet, and patient. I know loan-sharks that are more forgiving than you.

More from The Ref

• I have never heard of such a Christmas: sex, and drugs, and, and, and, and women being set on fire.
• Great, I just beat up Santa Claus.
• I hijacked my fucking parents.
• I’m in hell. Connecticut is the fifth ring of hell.
• Let me say it one more time: I have a gun, it’s loaded, shut up, okay?
• You know what this family needs? A mute.