I have never heard of such a Christmas: sex, and drugs, and, and, and, and women being set on fire.
Connie
- Director
- Ted Demme
- Cast
- Denis Leary, Judy Davis, Kevin Spacey, BD Wong, Christine Baranski, Ellie Raab
- Year
- 1994
- Runtime
- 97 min
- Genres
- comedy film, drama film, Christmas film
- Country
- United States
Facts: Wikidata (CC0), as of 2026-07-09
We can't open presents until midnight.
Connie
What, you're pulling a gun on me? I'm not afraid of you.
George
Great, I just beat up Santa Claus.
Gus
I hijacked my fucking parents.
Gus
I’m in hell. Connecticut is the fifth ring of hell.
Gus
I thought moms were supposed to be nice, and sweet, and patient. I know loan-sharks that are more forgiving than you.
Gus
Let me say it one more time: I have a gun, it’s loaded, shut up, okay?
Gus
You know what this family needs? A mute.
Gus
Your husband ain't dead, lady, he's hiding.
Gus
Caroline, the day you see anything through to the end, I’ll stick my own dick in my ear.
Lloyd
It wasn't one bad review in one louse magazine. It was the Restaurant Guide Book of New York. And, when the Restaurant Guide Book recommends you to Hindus looking for a fun night out of fasting, what did you expect me to do, change the menus?
Lloyd Chasseur
It wasn’t one bad review in one lousy magazine. It was the Restaurant Guide Book of New York. And, when the Restaurant Guide Book recommends you to Hindus looking for a fun night out of fasting, what did you expect me to do, change the menus?
Lloyd Chasseur
Telling people that she dreams about me being castrated florentine is healthy?
Lloyd Chasseur
You know what mom? You know what I’m gonna get you next Christmas? A big wooden cross, so every time you feel unappreciated for all your sacrifices, you can climb up and nail yourself to it.
Lloyd Chasseur
Excuse me! Excuse me! EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! If you don’t mind, the “corpse” STILL has the floor!
Lloyd
I suppose you’ll use this drama as a reason to have another affair. I feel sorry for the next delivery man that comes to this house!
Lloyd
You're a Wong?
Rose