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I'm sorry, but all questions must be submitted in writing.

— Willy Wonka · Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory

A stack of blank lilac cards with a gold-tipped pen and a small brass bell on a brown surface.
Original artwork
Behind the line May contain spoilers.

Our reading

An editorial interpretation.

A polite refusal wrapped in a rule: no questions unless they're on paper. It sounds courteous and final at once, a way to shut down curiosity with procedure. The apology is thin, and the paperwork barrier is the whole point of the joke.

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