Painterly smoking cigar resting on a red silk cushion in warm light.

Original artwork, not a still

George Burns

If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I’d sleep with it.

Behind the line

What it means

Our interpretation.

The speaker imagines treating an expensive cigar with absurd intimacy before smoking it. Naming the price sets up the complaint, while 'sleep with it' takes the response somewhere unexpected. The joke exaggerates how much value someone might demand from a purchase that feels extravagant.

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