When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I’m labeled senile.

More from George Burns

• At my age flowers scare me.
• Happiness is having a large, loving, caring close-knit family in another city.
• If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I’d sleep with it.
• Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
• 24 beers in a case, 24 hours in a day, coincedence? I think not.
• A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.