I used to be Irish Catholic; now I’m an American.
George Carlin
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
George Carlin
Most people are paid just enough to keep them from quitting, for working just hard enough to keep from getting fired.
George Carlin
Nobody goes right to work. I mean, screw the company – those first twenty minutes belong to you.
George Carlin
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
George Carlin
The Pope wears loafers.
George Carlin