Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.

More from Groucho Marx

• A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
• Although it is generally known, I think it’s about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.
• A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
• Behind every great man is a great woman, and behind her is his wife.
• Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
• From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.