Mark Twain — People

Reading glasses rest on an open book atop a small stack of worn books beside a vase of dried stems. — Original artwork

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

Mark Twain

Two brass cups glow blue and gold beside two small funnels against a dark blue background. — Original artwork

By his father he is English, by his mother he is American– to my mind the blend which makes the perfect man.

Mark Twain

An empty wooden hanger hangs in a recessed alcove above a crumpled grey shirt. — Original artwork

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Mark Twain

Painterly broken glass sphere and pale smoke suspended above an empty wooden chair. — Original artwork

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

Mark Twain

Painterly round vanity mirror showing a moonlike surface beside a glowing wall light. — Original artwork

Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anyone.

Mark Twain

Painterly vintage penny-farthing bicycle with flowers in its wheel leaning against a stone wall. — Original artwork

Get a bicycle. You will not regret it, if you live.

Mark Twain

A small schoolhouse built from a hand mirror and colored pencils on a teal surface, topped with a crooked paper flag. — Original artwork

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.

Mark Twain

Painterly white golf ball in grass beside an overturned open khaki bag. — Original artwork

Golf is a good walk ruined.

Misattributed to Mark Twain

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Misattributed to Mark Twain

A partly burned match lies alight on a white plate, with a thin wisp of smoke above it. — Original artwork

If the man doesn't believe as we do, we say he is a crank, and that settles it. I mean, it does nowadays, because now we can't burn him.

Mark Twain

A worn leather dog lead hangs in a heart-shaped loop above a tennis ball on a wooden floor. — Original artwork

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosper, he will not bite you......this is the principle difference between man and a dog.

Mark Twain

An open book has fanned pages rising into a small paper bird against a warm golden background. — Original artwork

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Mark Twain

A closed green garden gate surrounded by ferns, with a sealed envelope lying outside in misty woodland. — Original artwork

I refused to attend his funeral. But I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it.

Mark Twain

A small black top hat with a sunflower in its band and a glass teardrop bead on a lavender cloth. — Original artwork

Let us endeavour so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Mark Twain

An empty gold birdcage has its door open while a pale feather drifts beside it against a deep red background. — Original artwork

Loyalty to a petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.

Mark Twain

Never let your schooling interfere with your education.

Mark Twain

A small tarnished crown-shaped metal ring rests on a dark marbled slab against a burgundy background. — Original artwork

No man should [do that] unless he is the King of England — or has a tapeworm.

Mark Twain

A folded white cloth on a tiny step beside a worn patterned cloth lying before a small door. — Original artwork

The altar cloth of one aeon is the doormat of the next.

Mark Twain

Wisps of heat rise from a red padded stool beside a leaning metal spatula. — Original artwork

The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. But he won't sit upon a cold stove lid, either.

Mark Twain

Two crossed sparklers glow against a dark-blue background, one brightly and the other with a smaller trail of sparks. — Original artwork

The difference between the right word and almost the right word is the difference between lightning and lightning bug.

Mark Twain

A round hand mirror reflects a small jester’s cap, with a brass ring beside it. — Original artwork

The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.

Mark Twain

Two worn wooden chairs face a round table with two cups and a small vase in warm afternoon light. — Original artwork

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.

Mark Twain

A narrow upright pane of clear glass stands beside a small white flower and mossy stone against a grey background. — Original artwork

The reason why truth is so much stranger than fiction is that there is no requirement for it to be consistent.

Mark Twain

A cotton storm cloud over a small mallet on a violet cushion with yellow thread sparks. — Original artwork

Thunder is good. Thunder is impressive. But it's the lightning does the work.

Mark Twain

An open book with blank golden pages lies beside a small closed dark book on blue ground. — Original artwork

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.

Mark Twain

Painterly worn leather boots pointing opposite ways atop a wooden signpost in a dry landscape. — Original artwork

We are chameleons, and our partialities and prejudices change place with an easy and blessed facility, and we are soon wonted to the change and happy in it.

Mark Twain

A crumpled grey party hat beside a deflated pink balloon and a loose ribbon on a lilac background. — Original artwork

What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.

Mark Twain

Four smooth malachite and coral game tokens, with one larger polished token among three smaller ones — Original artwork

When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.

Mark Twain

A group of white paper boats pointing right with one yellow paper boat turned sideways at the edge. — Original artwork

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it’s time to pause and reflect.

Mark Twain

A brown glove with one raised finger casts an exclamation-mark-shaped shadow on pale ground. — Original artwork

When the human race has once acquired a supersitition, nothing short of death is ever likely to remove it.

Mark Twain

A cracked pale mask rests on dark purple velvet with a small flowering stem rising through it. — Original artwork

When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

Mark Twain

A cracked glass teacup glows along golden fractures beside a metal thimble and a small faded rose. — Original artwork

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

Mark Twain

A small amber glass hourglass containing a pale curled swirl on a charcoal and amber background. — Original artwork

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Misattributed to Mark Twain

Two painted wooden nesting dolls, one facing forward and one turned away, stand on burgundy velvet. — Original artwork

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

Misattributed to Mark Twain

A green felt frog wearing a black bowler hat sits beside a monocle on a small saucer. — Original artwork

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

Misattributed to Mark Twain

A small brass reel linked by taut thread to a miniature blue cloth sail on a coral surface. — Original artwork

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear -- not absence of fear.

Mark Twain

A small spiral staircase with a curved brass railing rises toward a peach cloud against pale blue. — Original artwork

Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.

Mark Twain

A paintbrush and a wooden spool wound with red thread on a green enamel tray. — Original artwork

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

Mark Twain

A magnifying glass lies beside two broken eggshell halves, one glowing warmly, on a wooden surface. — Original artwork

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

Misattributed to Mark Twain

Three sponge-cake steps lead up to a tiny green trainer and a blank paper flag. — Original artwork

The secret of getting ahead is getting started.

Misattributed to Mark Twain