They shouldn’t have called it “It’s a Wonderful Life,” they should have called it “It’s a sucky life and just when you think it can’t suck any more it does.”

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• Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream.
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• It’s like someone literally wrote down my worst nightmare, and then charged me $32 to see it!