All right, let's get some perspective here, ok? These things, they happen for a reason.
Chandler
Handle's my middle name. Well, actually, it's the middle part of my first name.
Chandler
He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite--
Chandler
Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream.
Chandler
Is this the episode of Three’s Company where there’s a misunderstanding?
Chandler
It’s like someone literally wrote down my worst nightmare, and then charged me $32 to see it!
Chandler
It's like someone literally wrote down my worst nightmare, and then charged me $32 to see it! On seeing Kathy naked in a play
Chandler
Ok, lets focus something else. Beautiful eyes, nice nose, great smile, BIG HEAD BIG HEAD BIG HEAD!!!
Chandler
Well, my apartment's not there anymore because I DRANK it.
Chandler
Hi, here's the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it.
Joey
Hi, here’s the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It’s white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh yeah, and there was a baby in it.
Joey
Just tell him Joey sent you. He'll know what it means.
Joey
Look, I kinda had a dream, but I don't want to talk about it.
Joey
Oh mommie, oh daddie, I am a big old baddie! Oh mommie, oh daddie, I am a big old baddie!
Joey
Ross, if homo sapiens actually were HOMO sapiens, is that why they're exctinct?
Joey
Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.
Joey
Oh my god. How cute is the new eye doctor?
Monica
Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds.
Monica
Whoa! Where you going in those pants? 1982?
Monica
Well, yeah, she asked if she could finish my peanuts and I thought she said something else.
Pete Becker
If you buy a mattress from Janice's ex-husband, isn't that like betraying Chandler?
Phoebe
See, he’s her lobster!
Phoebe
They shouldn’t have called it “It’s a Wonderful Life,” they should have called it “It’s a sucky life and just when you think it can’t suck any more it does.”
Phoebe
You know, if we were in prison, you'd be like my bitches!
Phoebe( to Monica and Rachel)
We can be guys! Come on, let us be guys!
Phoebe
...but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.
Rachel
Rachel:...but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city. Monica: Who wasn't invited to the wedding. Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue...
Friends
Guess what, guess what!
Rachel
Oh honey, please, no, I can't get started with all that Ross stuff again. I mean he's going to be screwed up for a long time. And besides, you know, I don't go for guys right after they get divorced.
Rachel
Who's FICA? And why does he get all my money?
Rachel
I don't know what I'm gonna do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete nightmare!
Ross
I was having a little chat with ah, Bonnie, and ah, guess what, she-she happened to bring up y'know, who was behind the um, whole head shaving idea, and now, who was it? Oh, that's right, that's right, it was you!
Ross
Look, Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
Ross
Oh really? What uh, what does he want with her?
Ross
Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about being a lesbian.
Ross
You’re over me? When were you, under me?
Ross
You're jealous because I'm a real doctor.
Russ