Burns — Characters

A small brown dog sits beside a bowl of spaghetti on a red and cream checked cloth. — Original artwork

Dogs are idiots. Think about it, Smithers. If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say?

Burns

A black rotary telephone with a stretched coiled cord and a small brass megaphone beside it on yellow cloth. — Original artwork

He's a madman! I must reach Smithers! Now, how does this telephone machine work? I've seen others use it, let's see S-M-I-T-H-E-R-S. By jove it worked! It's ringing!

Burns

A small crimson flag on a pole beside a gold medal and ribbon against a charcoal background. — Original artwork

Honestly, Smithers, I don't even know why Harvard continues to show up. Why, they barely even won.

Burns

I don't like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing there are too many fat children.

Burns

I know I should be resisting but I'm paralized with rage...and island rythms.

Burns

I know I should be resisting but I'm paralyzed with rage...and island rhythms.

Burns

A tilted glass jar containing a golden question mark, resting on plum velvet. — Original artwork

Well, what do you want then?

Burns

Who was that young hellcat, Smithers?

Burns

Magnifying glass on a low brass stand above a long white feather — Original artwork

You're not as stupid as you look, or sound, or our best testing indicates.

Burns