
Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three.
Grandpa

Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three.
Grandpa
Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot.
Grandpa

Dong? Where is my automobile?
Grandpa

I can say what I want, I still got Nazi bullets in my ass.
Grandpa

I haven't felt this relaxed and carefree since I was watch commander at Pearl Harbor.
Grandpa
I'm filled with piss n' vinegar! ... at first I was just filled with vinegar.
Grandpa
I'm going to the outhouse.
Grandpa

I used to be with 'it', but then they changed what 'it' was. Now what I'm with isn't 'it' anymore and what's 'it' seems weird and scary.
Grandpa
I used to be with ‘it’, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’ anymore and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary. It’ll happen to you!
Grandpa

Losers are people who are so afraid of not winning, they don't even try.
Grandpa

Ow! Today's grass is much sharper than the grass in my day.
Grandpa

Pull your chair closer, my son.
Grandpa