Homer — Characters

A yellow toy car is tethered to a short metal post by red string on dark grey felt. — Original artwork

"You have 30 minutes to move your car", "You have 10 minutes","Your car has been impounded", "Your car has been crushed into a cube", "You have 30 minutes to move your cube".

Homer

Painterly bee resting on a broken golden honeycomb with drops of honey in warm amber light. — Original artwork

Aah! Hey, get off my sugar. Bad bees! Bad! Ow. Oww! Oh, they're defending themselves somehow!

Homer

(after shooting zombie Flanders in the head)Flanders was a zombie?!

Homer

Painterly illustrated pages beside a paint palette, brushes and gold coins on an orange surface. — Original artwork

A hundred bucks? For a comic book? Who drew it, Micha-ma-langelo?

Homer

A single amber bottle stands on a glass shelf inside an otherwise empty refrigerator lit in cool blue. — Original artwork

Aww there's only one beer left and it's Bart's!

Homer

A cream coffee pot and an orange cup on a wooden tray in warm light filtered through blinds. — Original artwork

Can I at least make you coffee Mr. Burns?

Homer

A small wooden window frame with a yellow curtain, flowers on the sill and blue sky beyond. — Original artwork

Could you open the window? The cops have daddy's prints on file.

Homer

An open book has aged, crumbling pages on the left and clean blank pages on the right against a cream background. — Original artwork

Every time I learn something new, a little of the old gets pushed outta my brain, remember that time I took that wine making course and forgot how to drive?

Homer

Flanders was a zombie?

Homer

A golden flame rises from cupped stone hands against an orange sunset and dark clouds. — Original artwork

God bless those Pagans.

Homer

Hello. My name is Mr. Burns.

Homer

Hmm. I guess Bart's not to blame. He's lucky, too, because it's spanking season, and I got a hankerin' for some spankerin'.

Homer

Painterly bundle of golden grain beside a foaming wooden beer mug on amber. — Original artwork

Homer no function beer well without.

Homer

Painterly glazed ribs arranged on a red checked cloth beside barbecue sauce and utensils. — Original artwork

How 'bout it, Bart? Would you like a backyard BBQ pit?

Homer

I like my beers cold and my homosexuals flaming.

Homer

Two differently patterned floral paper halves form a heart joined by a thin golden thread on cream ground. — Original artwork

I love you, honey.

Homer

Painterly red phone booth with pale wings floating against a starry blue sky. — Original artwork

I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman.

Homer

A woolly brown mitten wedged into a small round opening in a metal plate. — Original artwork

I'm pretty sure I can struggle my way out. First I'll just reach in and pull my legs out ... now I'll pull my arms out with my face.

Homer

I sure could go for a hot dog right about now.

Homer

It's like a friggin country bear jambaroo around here.

Homer

A worn cushion rests on a brown plaid armchair in warm window light. — Original artwork

Listen to 'em. Watchin' my television. Sittin' on my couch. You better not be in my ass groove!

Homer

Marge, can we trade? I don't trust these guys.

Homer

Marge, we had a deal. Your sisters don't come here after six and I stop eating your lipstick.

Homer

A dark bowler hat rests on a wooden stool beside a tiny brass bell and trailing red ribbon. — Original artwork

Maybe for once, someone will call me 'sir' without adding 'You're making a scene'.

Homer

Mel Brooks is Jewish?

Homer

Mmmm...64 slices of American Cheese. 63. 62....

Homer

A beer glass and orange pom-pom sit on a table beside an armchair facing a glowing blue television. — Original artwork

No beer and T.V. make Homer something something...

Homer

A split lump of coal with a small silver rocket inside and a matchstick ladder leaning against it. — Original artwork

No. Coal mining may be your life, but it's not mine. I'm never going down there again. I wanna go into space.

Homer

Now I've had my head in an elephant, a hippo, and a giant sloth.

Homer

Oh Lisa! You and your stories! Bart's a vampire! Beer kills brain cells! Now let's go back to that...building...thingie...where our beds and TV...is.

Homer

Oh no! Aliens! Bio-duplication! Nude consperesicies! Oh my God! Linden Lerouche was right!!

Homer

An orange and pink ribbon of static flows from an old computer screen across a small desk beside a wooden chair. — Original artwork

Oh, they have the internet on computers now!

Homer

A small round yellow door set into a grassy, flower-covered mound in a sunlit meadow. — Original artwork

Okay it's the standard Grandpa Drill, everyone into the cellar!

Homer

Painterly smiling white mask beside a pointing yellow glove on orange. — Original artwork

OOoooo! Look at me Marge! I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man from happy land! In case you couldn't tell, I was being sarcastic!

Homer

Small blue and brass dice rest on a dark reflective surface beneath a pale moon. — Original artwork

People die all the time, just like that. Why you could wake up dead tomorrow.....Well, goodnight!

Homer

Three miniature televisions in a row, each displaying a yellow star against a dark blue background. — Original artwork

Please, Marge. How often can I see a movie of this caliber on late night tv?

Homer

A wooden ruler balanced on a tin can, with a gold trophy at the raised end and a purple sock at the lower end. — Original artwork

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves.

Homer

A grey cat-shaped pincushion sits before an open fan decorated with peacock feathers. — Original artwork

Stupid cats. With their fancy footwork and their crafty schemes to steal all my smelts!

Homer

The human wang is a beautiful thing.

Homer

Painterly tipped wine glass spilling red wine beside a paper cone of golden fries. — Original artwork

To alcohol - the cause of, and solution to all of life's problems.

Homer

A small paper kite caught on a twig with a spool of thread on the ground. — Original artwork

Trying is the first step towards failure.

Homer

Painterly small raised hand figure beside a vintage intercom under a spotlight. — Original artwork

Volunteering is for suckers. Did you know that so called 'Volunteers' don't even get paid?

Homer

A brass trumpet with a limp green balloon hanging from its mouthpiece. — Original artwork

Well, honey, what do you like? Tuba-ma-ba? Oba-ma-bo? That one? Saxa-ma-phone?

Homer

A brass compass rests in moss beside a drifting copper-brown leaf against olive green. — Original artwork

When you’re an experienced woodsman, you get a feel for these things. It’s like a third sense.

Homer

A tiny bath beneath a duck-patterned shower curtain, with a yellow rubber duck peeking out beside aqua tiles. — Original artwork

Whoops. Sorry, son. I didn't know you, Jay Leno, and a monkey were bathing a clown.

Homer

A blank framed canvas leans against a teal-and-coral striped wall beside small decorative objects. — Original artwork

Why won't you be art?!

Homer

Five pink foam fingers in a sagging stack next to a folded pennant on a navy background. — Original artwork

Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!

Homer

A small tan suitcase stands on a patch of grass beside a puddle that reflects it under a pale sky. — Original artwork

Your suitcase is light.

Homer