Red Forman — Characters

A small green football rests on folded pale paper against an olive-gold background. — Original artwork

Dear Lord, would it kill you to give the Packers a winning season? Oh, and uh, watch over my loving family, blah blah blah...

Red Forman

Painterly bundle of golden grain beside a foaming wooden beer mug on amber. — Original artwork

I like the sound of a beer church.

Red Forman

Painterly red feather quill, blank parchment scroll, small crown and ornate dagger on crimson fabric. — Original artwork

I've been working since I was sixteen. I fought two in wars. Hell, I've killed people. I'm not saying that I didn't enjoy it...

Red Forman

A broken pink piggy bank lies beside a fallen brass goblet and curled orange ribbon on a dark surface. — Original artwork

Once again, an open bar spells disaster for the Foreman family.

Red Forman

A small carved wooden pew stands against a blue-gray background, with a slender spent match resting across its top. — Original artwork

We’re all gonna go to church and we’re gonna have a damn nice Sunday.

Red Forman

Navy graduation cap with gold tassel resting on plain sealed envelopes bearing blank wax discs — Original artwork

What are you going to put on your resume - dumbass?

Red Forman

Three carved theatrical masks in black, charcoal and pale grey show different degrees of frowning against slate. — Original artwork

When my time comes I want to be buried face down. That way whoever doesn't like me can kiss my ass.

Red Forman

Two teal cocktail glasses with pink paper umbrellas flanking a small magenta handbag against a deep plum background. — Original artwork

When used separately, women and alcohol can be a lot of fun. But if you mix them, they can turn you into a dumbass.

Red Forman

Loose green wooden blocks lead into a neat ascending row. — Original artwork

Without rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.

Red Forman

A cracked speckled egg is nestled in a knitted scarf with a small red pennant and moss against brown-green. — Original artwork

Women are never done with it, son. Anything wrong you do, they sit on it for twenty five years, like an egg. And then it hatches – on Superbowl Sunday.

Red Forman