Old women are closer to God than we'll ever be. They get to that age and they don't need the operator anymore. They've got the direct line.

More from Father Ted

• Dougal, how did you get into the church? Was it like, “Collect twelve crisp packets and become a priest”?
• Dougal, how did you get into the church? Was it like, "Collect twelve crisp packets and become a priest"? Grant unto Him Eternal Rest
• Father Ted is demonstrating some plastic toy cows to Dougal. Father Ted: …OK, one last time. These are small… but the ones out there are far away. Small… far away…
• Father Ted is demonstrating some plastic toy cows to Dougal. Father Ted: ...OK, one last time. These are small... but the ones out there are far away. Small... far away... Hell
• Old women are closer to God than we’ll ever be. They get to that age and they don’t need the operator anymore. They’ve got the direct line.
• Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness. The Devil's Dictionary (1881-1906).