Lisa

Baby, I'll do your hair. It could look pretty if...No. Prettier your way.

Lisa

Dad, what's a Muppet?

Lisa

I'm an ugmo.

Lisa

I'm impressed you were able to write so legibly on your own butt.

Lisa

I still believe in protecting animal's rights, but that still doesn't excuse what I did. I'm sorry for wrecking your barbecue, dad.

Lisa

I think it's ironic that it was dad's weight that allowed him to plug the hole, while a slimmer man would have fallen to his death.

Lisa

It is better to remain silent and be thought the fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Lisa

They call it physical education, but it feels like gym to me.

Lisa

What's inside of you?

Lisa

Yes, I'd like to order some flowers for my husband. Yeah, how much is the big "Please Forgive Me" bouquet? ... Okay, how 'bout the small "Please Get Over It" bouquet?

Lisa

You wouldn't care if I humped the entire army as long as they were on the right side of the Ho Chi Minh trail.

Lisa