Lister sings “Lunar City Seven”. RIMMER: Lister, have you ever been hit over the head with a welding mallot?
Rimmer
Ace and Skipper?! You sound like a kids' TV series about a boy and his bush kangaroo!
Rimmer
He's reached the pinnacle of evolution. He's human.
Rimmer
I had to get out of there. He's driving me nuts. I cannot stand front-seat drivers.
Rimmer
I just wanted to say that, over the years, I have come to regard you as … people I met.
Rimmer
I just wanted to say that, over the years, I have come to regard you as ... people I met. Holoship
Rimmer
I’m organised, I’m dedicated to my career, I’ve always got a pen. Result? Total smeghead despised by everyone except the ship’s parrot. And that’s only because we haven’t got one.
Rimmer
I'm organised, I'm dedicated to my career, I've always got a pen. Result? Total smeghead despised by everyone except the ship's parrot. And that's only because we haven't got one. Thanks for the Memory
Rimmer
I never agreed with my parents' religion but I wouldn't dream of knocking it.
Rimmer
It's not easy you know to come in every night, look in that mirror, and see a guy nobody likes.
Rimmer
I used to be with the Samaritans.
Rimmer
I've seen Westerns, I know how to speak cowboy. (to bartender) Dry white wine and Perrier please. And what about you two chaps?
Rimmer
Kryten, kindly get to the point before I jam your nose between your cheeks and make it the filling of a buttocks sandwich.
Rimmer
Look, I think we’ve all got something to bring to this conversation, but I think that from now on what you should bring is silence.
Rimmer
Look, I think we've all got something to bring to this conversation, but I think that from now on what you should bring is silence. Gunmen of the Apocalypse
Rimmer
Look, Lister, no point feeling sorry about Holly. It's a kindness. Like a blind old incontinent sheepdog, he's had his day. Take him out to the barn with a double-barreled shot-gun and blow the mother away. And I'm only saying that because I'm so fond of him.
Rimmer
Oh yeah? Well, as the Esperanto would say, "Bonvoro alsendi la pordiston, lausajne estas rano en mia bideo!" And I think we all know what that means.
Rimmer
Please rush me my portable walrus polishing kit. Four super brushes to tackle even the trickiest of sea-bound mammals. Yes, I am over 18, although my IQ isn't.
Rimmer
So Lister what are you telling us? You're a closet squirrel? Behind closed doors you parade up and down with a strap-on bushy tail, calling yourself Nutkin?
Rimmer
The world loves a bastard!
Rimmer
They've been naughty boys, haven't they, Mr. Flibble?
Rimmer
We can't afford to take any chances. Jump up to red alert.
Rimmer
Well, at least he gets 24 hours' notice. That's more than most of us get. All most of us get is 'Mind that bus', 'What bus?', splat! How's he taking it?
Rimmer
Well, if you have any more problems with nothing or things that don’t matter, just scream out my name hysterically and I’ll come pelting down the corridor!
Rimmer
Well, if you have any more problems with nothing or things that don't matter, just scream out my name hysterically and I'll come pelting down the corridor! Future Echoes
Rimmer
We’re not getting out of here in one piece, or if we do, it’ll be one big flat piece.
Rimmer
We're not getting out of here in one piece, or if we do, it'll be one big flat piece. Gunmen of the Apocalypse
Rimmer
What are you talking about?
Rimmer
Yes, but Rimmer Directive 217 states just as clearly, "No chance you metal bastard."
Rimmer