Sam — Characters — QuoteGeek

A toy rocket with several engine nozzles, two glowing orange, resting on folded navy cloth. — Original artwork

Burn rubber does not mean warp speed!

Sam

A pale sandy path curves around dark rocks and disappears into soft gray mist. — Original artwork

Don’t go where I can’t follow.

Sam

A sock hangs from the partly open doors of a carved wooden wardrobe, with a small key on the floor. — Original artwork

Do you have any idea what its like to jack off in an armoire?

Sam

‘Greased Lightning’ is my cell phone ringtone and I’ve been knocked out by a car door before, so I was really looking forward to recreating the reality of that moment on stage.

Sam

Painterly stopwatch, stethoscope and clear oxygen mask arranged on navy blue. — Original artwork

How sick is she?

Sam

A coil of knotted, frayed rope rests on weathered dock planks beside calm grey water. — Original artwork

I made a promise, Mr Frodo. A promise. “Don’t you leave him Samwise Gamgee.” And I don’t mean to.

Sam

Orange earmuffs resting on a small white oval platform with a stripe down its center. — Original artwork

I’m not even listening.

Sam

A gold trophy holds a small paper crown beside a crumpled blue rosette against purple. — Original artwork

I’m the luckiest son of a bitch in the world. (a customer knocks on the door) Sorry, we’re closed.

Sam

I'm the luckiest son of a bitch in the world. (a customer knocks on the door) Sorry, we're closed. Last line

Sam

Small open wooden door and shallow threshold, no signage or person, inside original centered crop envelope — Original artwork

I think there has to be a door between where you cook and where you crap. Even in the bush – tribal people, you know, they have a place for both. Probably it’s like a law. God! It’s probably in the Bible. It’s at least a building code violation.

Sam

It's a shame about raisins.

Sam

A large eye in a round lens on a brass stand peeks from behind a red velvet curtain. — Original artwork

There’s an eye-opener, and no mistake.

Sam

Painterly small weathered robot holding a watering can beside a wilted potted plant on grey. — Original artwork

Waiting for you is like waiting for a rain in the middle of a drought. Hopeless and disappointing!

Sam

A group of small white wooden figures with one teal figure standing apart on a round platform against a dark background. — Original artwork

Why can’t you all just die and leave me alone?

Sam

A black paper bat sitting on the rim of a glass of milk next to a folded yellow note on a midnight blue surface. — Original artwork

You're a creature of the night, Michael. My own brother, a goddam shit-sucking vampire. You wait 'til Mom finds out!

Sam