More from Phyllis Diller
- Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
- I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
- Living in Hollywood is like living in a lit cigar butt.
- We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
- Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.
- You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone.
Last reviewed 2026-07-06