I passed up a gay Halloween party to be here. Do you know how much fun gay Halloween parties are? Last year I saw three Jonas Brothers make out with three Robert Pattinsons. It was amazing.
April
Parks and Recreation
Sir? This is a children’s slide. You’re not allowed to sleep here.
I’m going to see my mom. She’s a big mucky-muck in the county school system. She’s my hero. How do I explain her? She’s as respected as Mother Theresa, she’s as powerful as Stalin, and she’s as beautiful as Margaret Thatcher.
Leslie Knope
Sir? This is a children’s slide. You’re not allowed to sleep here.
Leslie Knope
These people are members of the community that care about where they live. So what I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring loudly at me.
Leslie Knope
This is where the rubber of government meets the road of actual human beings.
Leslie Knope
This is my basketball court. I don’t want to see any double dribbles. I don’t want to see any three second violations.
Ron Swanson
I had to call in a few favors. But if you don’t call in favors to look at women in bikinis and assign them numerical grades, what the hell do you call in favors for?
Tom
Treat yo self!
Tom Haverford
Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.
Ron Swanson
Knope we can!
Leslie Knope
Are you crying? / I am not crying, okay? I'm allergic to jerks!
Andy Dwyer