Happy Gilmore — Characters

A tilted glass jar containing a golden question mark, resting on plum velvet. — Original artwork

Are you too good for your home? Answer me!

Happy Gilmore

An ice skate on its side beside a tiny orange cone on a round base, resting on pale lavender ice. — Original artwork

During high school, I played junior hockey and still hold two league records: most time spent in the penalty box; and I was the only guy to ever take off his skate and try to stab somebody.

Happy Gilmore

A worn gold-coloured star medal hangs by a ribbon from a wire coat hanger against a dark background. — Original artwork

Green jacket, gold jacket. Who gives a shit?

Happy Gilmore

Painterly white golf ball in grass beside an overturned open khaki bag. — Original artwork

[to caddy] Where were you on that one, dipshit?

Happy Gilmore

A brightly colored plaid glove rests over a white golf ball against a pale turquoise background. — Original artwork

Golfing requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor, the accountant – huge ass.

Happy Gilmore

A cracked hand mirror leans against a red boxing glove on dark cloth. — Original artwork

If I saw myself in clothes like that...I'd have to kick my own ass.

Happy Gilmore

A white plate with silver cutlery rests on a small circular bed of gravel against a blue-grey background. — Original artwork

So you wanna go grab something to eat?

Happy Gilmore

A golf ball rests in a small silver trophy cup on sunlit green grass. — Original artwork

Step up, ladies and gentlemen, come see if you can out drive the golf ball...uhh...whacker guy.

Happy Gilmore

A stack of gold coins beside a small brass balance scale tipped to one side, on dark red velvet. — Original artwork

The price is wrong BITCH!

Happy Gilmore

Where you goin with those clubs, punk?

Happy Gilmore

A red clown nose and a gold rosette resting on the teal seat of a small folding stool against a warm gray background. — Original artwork

You're gonna die clown!

Happy Gilmore