Xander

For I am Xander, Kind of Cretins, may all lesser Cretins bow before me.

Xander

Giles lived for school. He's actually still bitter that there are only twelve grades.

Xander

I am the bug man, kew, kew, katchoo.

Xander

I happen to be very biteable, pal. I'm moist, and delicious.

Xander

I have my pride. Okay, I don’t have a lot of my pride, but I have enough so that I can’t do this.

Xander

I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away.

Xander

I'm not gonna waste the perfect comeback on you now. But don't think I don't have it. Oh yes, it's time will come!

Xander

Just think of my lips as the Fruit Roll-Ups of Love...okay, that was gross.

Xander

My whole life just flashed before my eyes. I gotta get me a life.

Xander

Ooh, gang, didja hear that? A bonus day of class plus Cordelia! Mix in a little rectal surgery and it's my best day ever!

Xander

Ooh, gang, didja hear that? A bonus day of class plus Cordelia! Mix in a little rectal surgery and it's my best day ever!

Xander

Oooh. Sunnydale Bus Depot. Classy. What a better way to introduce someone to our country than with a stench of urine.

Xander

That's okay, I don't wanna go. I'm just gonna go home, lie down and listen to country music...the music of pain.

Xander

Think of the happy. If we don't find what we're looking for, we're facing the apocalypse.

Xander

Well, 'cause you never know if a girl's gonna say yes or if she's gonna laugh in your face and pull out your still-beating heart and crush it into the ground with her heel.

Xander

Well, how about this: we whip out the Ouija board, light a few candles, summon some ancient unstoppable evil? Mayhem, mayhem, mayhem; we show up and and kick its ass.

Xander

Well, not much goes on in a one-Starbuck's town like Sunnydale.

Xander

We’re right behind you, only further back.

Xander

We're right behind you, only further back.

Xander

Who's the little fear demon? Come on, who's the little fear demon?

Xander

You're considered somewhat cool.

Xander