I am your king!
King Arthur
Monty Python
Monty Python on QuoteGeek: 48 lines from 2 films and 1 series, 1969 to 1979.
On the shelf
Staff pick
— The announcer's link (John Cleese), Monty Python's Flying Circus Staff pick
— Cardinal Ximénez, Monty Python's Flying Circus Staff pick
This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! ... This is an ex-parrot!
— Mr Praline, Monty Python's Flying Circus Staff pick
— The Vikings in the Spam sketch, Monty Python's Flying Circus (1970) Staff pick
— The customer (Michael Palin), the Argument Clinic sketch, Monty Python's Flying Circus, 'The Money Programme' (1972) Staff pick
— Mr. Mousebender, Monty Python's Flying Circus Staff pick
On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.
— King Arthur, Monty Python and the Holy Grail Staff pick
— Dennis, Monty Python and the Holy Grail Staff pick
— Dennis, Monty Python and the Holy Grail Staff pick
— French Taunter, Monty Python and the Holy Grail Staff pick
— French Soldier, Monty Python and the Holy Grail Staff pick
— Knights, Monty Python and the Holy Grail Staff pick
— Dead Man, Monty Python and the Holy Grail Staff pick
— Black Knight, Monty Python and the Holy Grail Staff pick
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour? Galahad: Blue. No, yel-- Auuuuuugh!
— The Bridgekeeper and Sir Galahad at the Bridge of Death, Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) Staff pick
Always look on the bright side of life, da dum, da dum da dum da dum...
— Mr Cheeky, Life of Brian Staff pick
— Brian, Life of Brian Staff pick
— Brian's Mother, Life of Brian Staff pick
— Man, Life of Brian Staff pick
— Reg, Life of Brian
Every title
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Monty Python and the Holy Grail 1975
Is there someone else up there we could talk to?
Galahad
The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering silmite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king!
King Arthur
This new learning amazes me Sir Bedevere. Explain to me again how sheep’s bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.
King Arthur
And how do you burn witches?
Bedevere
What also floats in water?
Bedevere
What makes you think she's a witch?
Bedevere
Have at you!
Black Knight
He must be a King.
Dead Collector
If I went ’round sayin’ I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!
Dennis
I unclog my nose in your direction, sons of a window dresser. So, you think you could outclever us french folks with your silly, knees-bent, running-about, advancing behavior? I wave my private parts at your aunties, you cheesy-leather, second-hand, electric donkey bottom biters.
French Knight
Look, let me face the peril!
Galahad
Every time I try to talk to someone it's "sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy"...
God
What are you doing now?
God
We are no longer the Knights who Say Ni!
Head Knight of Ni
Now stand aside worthy adversary.
King Arthur
This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let’s not bicker and argue about who killed who.
King of Swamp Castle
We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the land we can get.
King of Swamp Castle
In the frozen land of Nador, they were forced to eat Robin's minstrels...and there was much rejoicing.
Narrator
Well, now, uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I, wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French by surprise – not only by surprise, but totally unarmed!
Bedevere
You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!
Sir Robin
Well he's got huge sharp, eh, he can leap about, look at the bones!
Tim
Dennis! There's some lovely filth down here!
Woman
Life of Brian 1979
He said Jehovah!
Angry citizen
Excuse me. Are you the Judean People's Front?
Brian
Okay, sir, my final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper?
Ex-Leper
From now on, I want you all to call me... 'Loretta'
Stan
We were led by a star.
Wise man