Dr. Evil Quotes — Austin Powers

A moon base corridor in psychedelic op-art: a bald man in a 1960s space suit and fishbowl helmet raises a gloved hand toward a distant silhouetted figure, the Earth in the portholes. — Original artwork

Know this... Austin... I am your father. / Really? / No, not really. I can't back that up.

Dr. Evil

Shiny blue tights hang over a hollow ceramic head-shaped vase against a green background. — Original artwork

Do you like your quasi-futuristic clothes Mr. Powers? I designed them myself.

Dr. Evil

A tilted glass jar containing a golden question mark, resting on plum velvet. — Original artwork

Hot Pocket? Eggo?

Dr. Evil

A partly buried teacup opens onto a glowing magenta staircase, with small black chess pieces lined up at its base. — Original artwork

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to my underground lair. I have gathered here before me the worlds deadliest assassins.

Dr. Evil

In a lava-lit lair, a bald man in a grey suit and a sullen teenager in a leather jacket stand before a glowing green tank of mutated sea bass, a hairless cat perched on a cushion beside them. — Original artwork

Let me tell you a little story about a man named Shh! Shh! Even before you start, that was a pre-emptive "Shh!" Just know I have a whole bag of "Shh!" with your name on it.

Dr. Evil

A small faceless grey felt figure wears a brass bell on magenta ribbon while sitting on a lime-green cushion. — Original artwork

Mini-Me? Mini-Me? For God's sake, would someone put a frickin' bell on him or something?

Dr. Evil

Painterly chrome cone on a dark red cushion with a thin red beam crossing it. — Original artwork

Mini me, stop humping the laser. Why don't you get a frickin' room already?

Dr. Evil

Painterly curled grey fur resting on a round burgundy cushion with gold trim. — Original artwork

No, Mini-Me, we do not gnaw on our kitty, we just stroke him and love him.

Dr. Evil

A sleek underground lair: a bald man in a grey suit at the head of a round map-topped conference table holds out an open hand to his silhouetted henchmen. — Original artwork

Throw me a frickin' bone here. I'm the boss. Need the info.

Dr. Evil

Painterly two carved faces turned toward each other, one glowing gold, on dark blue cloth. — Original artwork

Scott, I want you to meet daddy's nemesis, Austin Powers

Dr. Evil

Two small chicken figures and a blue fish sit in a cat-faced bowl beside a curling red ribbon. — Original artwork

I love chicken, I love liver, Meow Mix Meow Mix please deliver.

Dr. Evil

A peach with a smooth pale patch stands on a turquoise saucer beside a small silver razor. — Original artwork

There's nothing quite like a shorn scrotum. It's breathtaking, really. I suggest you try it yourself.

Dr. Evil

Pair of stitched leather gloves enclosing a scarlet embroidered heart patch — Original artwork

Well, don't look at me like I'm frickin' Frankenstein, give your father a hug.

Dr. Evil

A lava-lit lair seen from low: a high-backed swivel chair turned away at the head of a conference table, a hairless sphynx cat glaring from its arm, lava lamps and a rocket behind. — Original artwork

When Dr. Evil gets angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset... people die!

Dr. Evil

A bald villain in a grey suit sits in a white leather chair with a hairless cat in a volcano lair, seen from behind. — Original artwork

Why must I be surrounded by frickin’ idiots?

Dr. Evil

A garish talk-show stage: a bald man in a grey suit and a teenager in black sit in orange swivel chairs before a packed audience, a giant soda can and a tub of margarine beside them. — Original artwork

You're quasi-evil. You're semi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie. Not evil enough.

Dr. Evil

A wood-panelled council chamber: delegates at a curved table watch a huge screen where a bald man, pinky to his lips, broadcasts from a lava-lit lair with an eye-patched henchman at his shoulder. — Original artwork

Now, Mr. Evil... / Dr. Evil. I didn't spend six years in evil medical school to be called 'mister', thank you very much.

Dr. Evil

A bald man in a grey suit holds forth in a group-therapy circle of teal chairs while a sulky teenage son slumps beside him. — Original artwork

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium... He would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark.

Dr. Evil

Inside a submarine lair under Tokyo Bay: a bald man in a grey suit, arm raised, addresses rows of henchmen before a glowing golden globe, a tiny matching figure at his side, the city lights beyond the portholes. — Original artwork

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my submarine lair. It's long, hard and full of seamen.

Dr. Evil

A pale green prison visiting room: a bald prisoner in an orange jumpsuit with his little finger raised sits across a steel table from a man in a brown velvet suit, a tiny figure peeking round the door. — Original artwork

Quid pro quo, Mr. Powers. / Yes. Squid pro row.

Dr. Evil

Inside a volcano lair glowing with lava, a bald man in a grey suit and a tiny matching clone dance a duet on a round stage under a pink spotlight, a rocket-shaped microphone beside them. — Original artwork

Mini-Me, you complete me.

Dr. Evil

A round conference table in a volcano lair seen from above, stacks of coins rising like skyscrapers in its centre, a bald man with his pinky raised in the swivel chair and henchmen around him. — Original artwork

Why make trillions when we could make... billions?

Dr. Evil

In a volcano lair, a bald man makes a zipping gesture at the round conference table, a giant zip running down its middle, while a young man in black throws up his hands across from him. — Original artwork

Zip it.

Dr. Evil

An underground lair glowing orange and red: a bald man in a high-backed chair, a hairless cat on its arm, presides over a round conference table of silhouetted henchmen beneath a world map. — Original artwork

We get the warhead and hold the world ransom for... one million dollars!

Dr. Evil

A psychedelic lair of swirling colour: a bald man in a grey suit gestures at a glowing green tank of ugly mutated sea bass beside an eye-patched henchman, a dangling cage above it. — Original artwork

I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!

Dr. Evil

An underground lair glowing with lava: a bald man in a swivel chair faces a cracked Earth globe pierced by a drill, as a man in a purple velvet suit looks on from the shadows. — Original artwork

I'm still going to melt every city on the planet with liquid hot magma.

Dr. Evil

A snarling mutated sea bass with bulging yellow eyes fills a lair's glass tank, the silhouettes of a bald man and an eye-patched henchman reflected in the glass. — Original artwork

Are they ill-tempered? / Absolutely. / That's a start.

Dr. Evil