If you take sexual advantage of her, you’re going to burn in a very special level of Hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.
Book
I’ve been out of the abbey two days, I’ve beaten a lawman senseless, I’ve fallen in with criminals. I watched the captain shoot the man I swore to protect. And I’m not even sure if I think he was wrong.
Book
Does it seem every supply store on every water planet has the same five rag dolls and the same wood carvings of – what is this? A duck?
Inara
All of you! You think there’s someone just gonna drop money on ya?! Money they could use?! Well, there ain’t people like that. There’s just people like me.
Jayne
“Dear Diary: Today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. Today we were kidnapped by hill folk, never to be seen again. It was the best day ever.”
Jayne
Far as I see it, you people been given the shortest end of the stick ever been offered a human soul in this crap-hill 'verse. But you took that end, and you... Well, you took it. And that's - Well, I guess that's somethin'.
Jayne
Instead of us hanging around playing art critic till I get pinched by the Man, how’s about we move away from this eerie-ass piece of work and get on with our increasingly eerie-ass day, how’s that?
Jayne
(singing) "The hero of Canton, the man they call 'me'."
Jayne
Smellin’ a lot of “if” comin’ off this plan.
Jayne
This place gives me an uncomfortableness.
Jayne
You know what the chain of command is? It’s the chain I go get and beat you with ’til you understand who’s in ruttin’ command here.
Jayne
No power in the ‘verse can stop me.
Kaylee
Ah, he’s not the first psycho to hire us, nor the last. You think that’s a commentary on us?
Mal
Been a long time since Patience shot me, and that was due to a perfectly legitimate conflict of interest. I got no grudge.
Mal
Don’t worry, I’m not gonna start any sword fights. I’m over that phase.
Mal
Everybody dies, Tracey. Someone’s carryin’ a bullet for you right now, doesn’t even know it. The trick is, die of old age before it finds you.
Mal
Everybody dies, Tracey. Someone's carryin' a bullet for you right now, doesn't even know it. The trick is, die of old age before it finds you. The Message
Mal
It's my estimation that — every man ever got a statue made of him was one kind of sumbitch or another. Ain't about you, Jayne. It's about what they need.
Mal
Just once, I’d like things to go according to the gorram plan!
Mal
Let’s go get our wayward babes.
Mal
Look, you got a little stabbed the other day. That’s bound to make anyone a mite ornery.
Mal
Mercy is the mark of a great man. (He lightly stabs Atherton) Guess I’m just a good man. (He stabs him again) Well, I’m all right.
Mal
My work’s illegal, but at least it’s honest.
Mal
Reavers ain’t men – or they forgot how to be.
Mal
Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill ’em right back!
Mal
The next time you decide to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face.
Mal
We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty.
Mal
Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.
Mal
We’re not gonna die. We can’t die, Bendis. You know why? Because we are so very pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die.
Mal
We’re not thieves. Well, we are thieves. Point is, we’re not takin’ what’s his. Now, we’ll stay out of his way as best we can from here on in. You explain that that’s best for everyone, okay?
Mal
You know, I do believe that woman is planning to shoot me again.
Mal
He looks better in red.
River
They say the snow on the roof is too heavy. They say the ceiling will cave in. His brains are in terrible danger.
River
We’re lost. Lost in the woods.
River
You’re afraid we’re going to run out of air. That we’ll die gasping. But we won’t. That’s not going to happen. We’ll freeze to death first.
River
Tell you what. You buy this ship – treat her proper – she’ll be with you for the rest of your life.
Salesman
I’m very sorry if she tipped off anyone about your cunningly concealed herd of cows.
Simon
It’s been a big day, what with the abduction, and all.
Simon
Yes. Yes. This is a fertile land, and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it …’This Land’.
Wash (as Stegosaurus)
Can we maybe vote on the whole “murdering people” issue?
Wash
Every planet has its own weird customs. About a year before we met, I spent six weeks on a moon where the principal form of recreation was juggling geese. My hand to God. Baby geese. Goslings. They were juggled.
Wash
I wish I was somebody else right now, somebody not… married, not madly in love with a beautiful woman who can kill me with her pinky.
Wash
Monastic humor. I miss out on all the fun.
Wash
We gotta go to the crappy town where I'm the hero!
Wash
What happened to Simon? Who is this diabolical master of disguise?
Wash
Remember that sex we were planning to have, ever again?
Zoe